all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
