morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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