ugly people sure do ruin things
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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