you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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