You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
