Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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