I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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