If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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