Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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