i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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