I think I am morally bankrupt
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
