you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
