ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
