is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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