Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
