Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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