You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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