Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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