apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
