i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
