Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
