we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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