feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
