Just cropdusted the office
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
