with your own penis?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
