youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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