some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
