I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
