yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
