She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
