sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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