Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
