she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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