He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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