hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
