This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
