Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
