I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
