It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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