i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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