i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
