I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
