Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
