fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
