This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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