Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
