I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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