You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
God, you're like boner-b-gone
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I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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