I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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