Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
are you so shy because you have an std?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
