so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You made out with two different species that night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
