So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
