just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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