ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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