my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
