I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
