Don't you send me to vm
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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