And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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