Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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