If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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