So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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